Ree-Kola

Here's to YOU!

2011-06-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

It can be difficult for me to speak of the lessons that have graced my life pages. Only because I fear that in sharing them inadequately I gamble with the possibility of not conveying the inexplicable value and sacred role those lessons have played in my process of becoming the best me. In the turn of growing up I realize that if I forgo even the attempt to articulate those life lessons, at my own detriment those jewels of knowledge begin and will end only with me.

So here I am in answer to the call of self reformation. If you are reading this, consider yourself a integral part of this masterpiece I am creating. Thank you for allowing the color of your lives to spill across my canvas and intertwine with my own to make a beautiful scenery. I attribute so much of my happiness to the people who have made an impact to my way of thinking, my accomplishment of worthy goals and for the simple enjoyment of laughter and companionship.

Before this turns into a long winded hallmark card I just want to speak of the reality of this statement. We are only as successful and happy as the relationships we cultivate. There are not enough blog spaces or empty pages to express the ways I have experienced that firsthand. But I can say that every day I wake up to the realization that I am the benefactor of insightful and loving people. People who have taken the time to make me a part of their story.

So this is a non-alcoholic toast to all of the individuals in my life who contribute to my happiness whether you are aware of it or not.

THANK YOU to my friends by default (family...as my dad would put it) and ALL the randoms, the baggers, the lyricists, the musicians, the bedpanners, the counselors, the video makers, the picture takers, the indoctrinators, the therapists, the comedians, the lovers, the fighters and the troublemakers...if it were not for YOU I would not have the depth of understanding or motivational willpower to Live Out Loud.

Heres to a long life with us living it! Cheers!

When bad movies happen to good people....

2011-06-27T08:48:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or are there a plethora of movies these days that have a commonality of "suck" to them? Apparently someone in movie-landia thinks that if you pin 3D to the title, throw in a few well known actors and hike up the ticket prices that it will make up for the lame story line and super corny (and not to mention "cliche") love story that leaves you dumbfounded. Literally. With the emphasis on dumb.

Well, I am positive that is what I experienced this weekend in watching "The Green Lantern". Now I may not be a DC comic fanatic and can't recite inside and out the oath of Superman or the emerald city or whatever but I will bet my best stage horse that this movie unequivocally does not even scratch the surface when doing justice to the real comic book story. Now on a more lighter note and I realize it may be biased, and i'm not even ashamed to admit to it. But I don't need to read or even pick up a comic book to know that I would allow Ryan Reynolds (leading actor) in this world or ANY world in his green body suit to save me ANY day of ANY hour of ANY week. I would even strongly consider having some self inflicted wounds to call on this hunk of man. Pshhhhht. Please, I said the story line was disconnected and the love story cheesy I didn't say that I was blind or stupid.

So here it is for all of you hard-working americans who pay money for some entertainment and get this pitiful excuse for a movie.

Dear Hollywood Producers,

Attached I have a few Do's and Don'ts to making a hit movie that will not only be within budget but help those of us who still believe in getting entertainment for our moneys worth.

Do: continue to make movies about comic heroes

Don't: make them if they have a weak power such as green energy to make tangible objects.

Do: feel free to use polynesian actors as supporting actors.

Don't: give them awkward punchlines where you have to laugh just so as not feel like a hater for your own people.

Do: use cool visually enhanced technology to do the stunts.

Don't: let that be one of the only strings that holds the movie together. (not having to think can get old after a half an hour)

Do: feel free to introduce a character by explaining how they fit into the story line.

Don't: Just throw in a villan who is creepy and has a big scary forehead without saying how he fits in. It is wierd and not to mention uncomfortable to watch.

Do: feel free to have a love story.

Don't: make the girl randomly break out into tears for no reason without expecting us to laugh in the theater.

Do: cast more good looking men who wear the suit well

Don't: tarnish our respect for him because of a bad decision to not read the script thoroughly before saying yes to acting in the movie.

Thank you and please send back Serafi her money for paying for it.

Yours truly.

Saying farewell to the "man" in me

2011-06-16T10:25:00.001-07:00

Like most little girls we dream of falling in love with the handsome prince and riding off into the sunset. But in the process of life I have found an unanticipated loop in this classic story. Growing up.

Rather than kissing the frog who turns into a prince I have have found that kissing the frog turns me....into a "man". Romantic thought isn't it? There is no need to worry, believe me I love being a woman and have been and will be for many stories to come.

But the change I speak of occurs when that "once upon a time" feeling achieved through searching for love is abruptly cut short by the reality that love doesn't come in that nicely packaged dream. Doing a real number on that innocent, whimsical, child-like approach in having a future love. Leaving you with a ruff gruff mountain man approach which carries around an ax swinging at any sign of life.

Ill indulge you for a moment about this man of mines. A loyal companion this man has become to me.He was born at my first heart break. We have laughed and cried together. He is that instinctual reminder that says giving my best qualifies me to be treated likewise in a relationship. Pocketing clues in how to create a damage proof defense while fulfilling his role as guardian to the core of all vulnerability and comfort: my heart.

He is the most skilled hunter I know. His keen sense of vision can detect a dragon in the most grayest of skies. Any "prospective candidate" must not be easily fooled by the disguise of femininity or the perfectly coiffed motif because at the slightest indication of possible heartbreak in the horizon, you can be assured that my "mountain man" will be found attentive, with ax in hand sharpening his blade to deliver a killing slice for his most worthiest game.

Now recently there has been a surprising twist to our camaraderie. Our journey together has taken us on many crusades to ascertain the villain or dragon. I never anticipated nor was I prepared to actually see a real, bona fide, functional, prince-in-training slip through the castle gates. At first I was pretty dumbfounded. As far as I knew they were extinct. I mean, hand me a villan, then my axe and with precision I can tell you what I would do. But in this case, what do I do??

Well this extraordinary news has left me to have "the talk" with my devoted mountain man. So after much heartache and tears I decided to put my mountain man on paid administrative leave for the time being. Apparently my mountain man ways have been getting in the way of me moving forward.

Little by little, I am learning that love is not found in the beginning or even the happy ending but in overcoming obstacles "during" life's story. Our greatest contender in us finding and cultivating it, is ourselves. The utopia we find is built by our very own work and sweat. Love is no different. We can't allow the uncertainties and fears of our past hurt keep us so busy slaying dragons that we look past the possibility of a real live prince in waiting. (and believe me if he's a real prince, he'll wait for you til you figure it out) ;)

The end...for now.

My blogging commitment

2011-01-06T10:12:00.001-08:00

Excuse me as I throw up my thoughts on you....

2010-07-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

This phenomenon called a blog is yet another clean spreadsheet for me to place ever so neatly my uncut and uncensored thoughts. Not so much to be read as it is to free up some space in my brain from the clogged up traffic that never ceases to end. Sitting here in front of the computer screen I just try to figure out how to throw up my thoughts in a lady like way. It's not really working so I guess I'll just continue with what I came here to do. Thanks for holding my hair back as I take care of business.

As I grow older in years I realize more and more the things that make up the healthy part of me. In order for me to relate to others and to hopefully be understood there are some core values I feel as if I need to relay or share with someone in order for me to create a bond of friendship. I haven't really numbered in order of importance yet those values but i'd like to talk about one of them in particular. Somewhere towards the top and I mean the very top would be reliability. I guess you could tie into that being trustworthy and honest and I feel that they are almost one in the same for me. When someone makes a commitment and breaks it that can almost be worse for me than talking bad about me. I feel pretty confident about myself, I know i don't fit everyones standard of the perfect person but I feel okay with what i'm working with and so when someone says something about me I will usually look at the situation and the person and take it into consideration and if it has validity I will work on it. Not so bad. But when someone I see as a friend consistently breaks a commitment not matter how small or big they may see it (because I see commitments as one size)I am not only disappointed but I take it personally. Because I feel commitments are a way of showing someone how important they are to you the sting of the slap in the face lingers a while and can make me reassess my contribution in that friendship.I guess the long story short...who wants to be a stock shareholder in a business that no one really wants to invest time and money in. Am I right or am I right? lol Glad you see it my way.

Next thought. Before I come off as the cut throat ice queen from Narnia in relationships I want to let those of you who have read thus far (who usually are just the people I love anyways..cuz everyone else is bored before it even gets good) on a little glimpse of me as a dreamer. In a wonderful world when I viewed life like I did when I was a young girl at disneyland and felt the magic and wanted to be a part of the magic and would do anything to hide away in the amusement park because I thought all the characters came to life and I could just live happily ever after. That was me as a little girl dreamer. I don't know what the "happily ever after" consisted of, but the feeling that preceded that thought was one I try to feel every so often. I've gotten so logical and systematic in my thinking and way of being that sometimes it overpowers those sensitive feelings I had as a little girl. Sometimes in my big girl outfit and skin, when I step away from the realism and responsibilities of the grown up world when i'm not worried about if i'm communicating myself well, or trying to make things better for my family or living up to my potential or inspiring others to learn for themselves or making sure i'm keeping up with the current world I try to recognize that feeling again. I call it that dreamer feeling. I felt it when i decided to serve a mission. When I first wrote a song and heard someone sing it. When I first fell in love. I feel it after I teach and when I know something I have said has answered someones question.

Anyways, I'm hoping to put my life in order. To not be so systematic all the time. To let my guard down and not always be calm and proper. I hope to take more risks and not live on shoulda's and coulda's. August I turn into a new decade of my life. I think i've lived out my 20's in a good way. I don't know how long i've got but I guess the best thing to do right now is to hike up my skirt get on that bull and ride it like there ain't no tomorrow. Don't know where that came from but just like anything that supersedes a throw up session I know there's bound to be some regret of what I said tonight. lol Oh well pass me a towel please. Thanks.

Bring out the casserole.....

2010-04-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

Now those of you who know me can second the motion that my range of skill and wisdom are not too fascinating and range anywhere from whipping up a fingerwave gel-induced glistening hairdid to a neon multi-colored halloween costume for a night out on the town. But theres a secret weapon I like to keep in my holster. One I use selectively and just like any other talent it can be used for good or evil. I like to think this skill is for the good of mankind but lately I have found there are some defects to my so called genius. That I will save for a later blog. Tonight I would like to draw attention to the genius of what I call Casserole Delight. No rain in this parade. Let me explain myself so as to not leave confusion on the stage. I like to befriend those who stand in the path from where I am standing to the door for my clean exit on the batmobile. Its my comfort zone. Not too many single young adults can profess a geniune elation to socializing with others both male and female. Its a thing I do. I get a name, a number, share an experience, share some spiritual enlightenment I might have had that day and leave with a firm and affirmitive handshake or hug. Wa lah there you have the casserole delight! Its my thing. I work a room like a politician works a lucheon full of affluent people during voting season. Its a reflex I have. I say names I smile I might crack a joke or two and people call me to do their barmitzva (or howevever you spell it). Those are the positives of the beast. I leave a rainbow filled room hopefully with a warm fuzzy filling. Those are my powers used for good.

Now, let me confess to the Jekyl in me. Sometimes I will package up that big girl talent of mines and take it to the road. Especially if you are a rico suave gumdrop sweet talking nonsese speakin' fool. And no I am not referring to one person in particular but we will refer to these as "John". If my sixth sense sniffs out a suited up certified player within my personal space, out comes that casserole delight giving whiplash to all those within its reach.I'll be real, could it be a sad excuse for me in gloryifying my disfunction of using good for evil? Maybe. But i'd like to refer to it more like a bullride at the county fair. If you think you got guts for the ride.....please be my guest. But remember I invented the casserole delight recipe. I will sign it, I will seal it, and yes believe me I will deliver it...right to your open door.

Nightshift Nerves

2010-04-09T19:10:00.001-07:00

Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah goes the sound of the training class instructor as the 9 o'clock hour crawls into view for the restless nightshift crew. 5 hours down and 3 hours to go. Who in the San Pete county would agree to take on a full time training class for a second job after working earlier in the day? Oh yeah, I am the the manufacturer of the new brand of stupid. Of course this is not a new concept. Hard working americans do this day in and day out. But speaking for the underachievers of America I have signed away my life, or at least 4 weeks of it. So now as I sit here I have switched to a mode for survival. Following are the bill of rights I have drafted on a potluck napkin which was held earlier and as an important sidenote I feel like this is how great screenplays are written. So for all of you Steven Spielbergs and Disney screenwriters in training, here is the silver lining to your current telemarketing job.

As a current 2nd job nightshift crew member I reserve the right to:

Facebook to keep myself awake
Update my status every so often
Comment on others status
Text incognito and complain to family and friends of my hard life sitting in front of a computer for 8hours everyday
Make fun of people with stupid questions
Make fun of the trainer thru email to other friends in the class when "relief society" type stories are shared
Update my facebook profile picture
Email important business for job 1
Ask if we can go home when 100% is obtained on assessments
Ask if we can go home when there are long pauses in presentation
Ask to go home when system goes down
Ask to go home whenever a "relief society" type story is shared
Bring every type of snack and leave it within arms reach and blame the added weight on needing to stay awake until midnight
Give a 5min grace period for lunch breaks just in case a power nap goes overtime
Roll my eyes when personal stories by instructor supersede information pertaining to job role

to be continued......1 week down and 3 to go......

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?...Nope its the long awaited blog thought!

2010-02-18T21:58:00.000-08:00

Thank you my five blog friends for waiting oh so patiently as I have taken about half a year to post my 3rd blog. All things come in good time my fellow friends. Its comparative to waiting in the hot summer sun in line as the ice cream truck music blares in your ear and all you can think about is how that double dipped chocolate nut sugar cone vanilla sundae will taste on your lips. There you are salivating while holding your loose change (note: this is ice cream in the early 90's because now you wouldn't be able to get ice chips let alone ice cream for loose change these days) But I'm not here to talk about inflation or my dysfunctional obsession with ice cream but the things that really matter.

Let us talk about being sick and tired of having to eat, sleep, drink and regurgitate the bombarding "fix it" antics of the well meaning but uninformed advocates who have made it their life's work to get rid of "Generation Singleness" as I will call it.

I'm usually not one to take things personally, it just isn't my style but I'm going to be real honest in saying that I think this past weekend there was a nerve struck that I didn't even know existed. Before I go any further and people start rolling their eyes and resign to seeing a bitter single woman who feels that all men are losers and that the world should be run by women who are independent of all human beings who are incompetent, this I am not. Nor am I the psyco romantic who feels that there's that one person who I am waiting for who has the perfect job, with the perfect hair and smile, who says the perfect things (i just vomited in my mouth, sorry) but I would consider myself a realist who believes that love is alive. Alive and well, ready to be cultivated and tended through the willingess of indviduals to step out on a limb and just be crazy and let go of learned inhibitions. That's not too much to ask right? No prince on a horse or even slaying dragons. But I'm not even going to talk about that right now but save it for another blog.

I feel like even with that simple way of looking at life and love there is nothing that can kill the spirit of singleness (which doesn't define someone but a stage of life I like to think) is dousing it with all these quick and fast ways of being less single. The dating bonanza workshops and different ways to ask someone out, and panels for the communicative handicaps and the rush to find a date for the prom and to the fireside and then how to find that special someone..etc. I mean seriously? Whatever happened to finding a healthy way to become a better me first and then finding that in someone else. Sometimes I feel like some programs can be set around 2 goals. Getting single males and females in the same room and then drilling them from start to ending with the reasons why they need to get married already. Does anybody else know what I'm talking about or am I just having a moment. It is a tiring bombardment of suggestions of why I must be picky or why just having a nice conversation isn't sufficient because time is running out. Lack of action I will never defend but I still feel like everything should be done tastefully and in good portions. So the moral of my story? If you have a single friend, maybe holding your tongue on the dating scene may be the best thing you could ever do no matter how much you may think their forehead has a sign that flashes "PLEASE GIVE ME DATING ADVICE." Alright thats it folks Be kind and rewind.

The Bucket List

2009-06-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

I believe that in every stage of life in order to keep the sanity we must have what I would call a "coming to ourselves" session. The fact that we are moving constantly, that time and life is never at a standstill and the attainment of knowledge affects our desires and needs opens us to the reality that what we may do today and think is sufficient to add to our happiness may not be the case a few weeks or years down the road.

This has led me to write my thoughts here today. I have just noticed for myself that I have filtered my goals and experiences into a box I like to call the functional box. If its a thought or goal that doesn't fit the budget, or typically someone in my situation wouldn't do it because it takes time and energy from the "basic needs" of life then I responsibly put it in the irrational box and pat myself on the back for doing the right thing. Now before bringing out the medals here's my thought I mean sure you fill the requirements but is there really no room to enjoy the process? A need for balance is the outcome of Leen's session this week. Hence the reason for the blog title. Before I kick the bucket here are a few things I feel will allow me to enjoy life which include the small and big details.

* See the Northern Lights in Alaska
* Visit Samoa and take a session at the Apia Temple
* Take a tour of Nauvoo and New York
* Record and copyright at least 10 of my songs
* Finish my education in being an ESL teacher
* See a musical/concert in Las Vegas
* Visit Zions National Park
* Own a house/condo of my own
.....to be continued.....

The Origin of Ri-Kola

2009-06-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

Tah-dah! Good morning Baltimore... today is my first official day of blogging with my blogging shoes! Thank you for the round of applause. I want to thank my blog coach Tiffany Jacelle Erikson aka Pupi for introducing me to a place where random thoughts are welcomed. I like to think of myself as a rehabilitated graffiti artist using blogging as a therapeutic outlet of finding blank screens and filling them with colorful words and thoughts.

So let me explain my Ri-Kola title. Which I'm sure will change within a few weeks. No i don't love eating expensive cough drops for free or even have a caffeine addiction to Coca-Cola products. I'll be truthful. First of all its my filler-in title until I get a really cool one. Secondly I didn't want to miss the chance of filling in this big box of white space just asking me to write in it. Here's the background on the filler in title.

Why is it okay to wear mismatch clothes with slippers and a hair bun to the store? Because I'm Samoan. Why is it alright to sew bright colored floral patterned material as curtains and a matching table cloth? Because I'm Samoan. Why can I put a main dish and a dessert (sometimes mixed together a little) in the same Styrofoam covered plate? Yes exactly. Why can I name my daughter Doraleen and then call her Kolalee? Right again. Now whether or not any of those examples are okay can be talked about in another blog. The latter may even have proven studies that have shown symptoms leading into child schizophrenia at a young age. Just kidding. But when its your grandparents that you adore calling you Kola you suck it up and live the rest of your life with a double alias. Putting a twist to American names to have it fit in a Samoan sentence is the name of the game. So there it is. Not as deep and intriguing as I would've wanted for my first blog entry. I just hope as Pupi helps me out that I'll get to take the training wheels off soon. So this is Doraleen, or Kola if you will signing out from my spot here on the couch for the night. Thank you and see you in another thought:)